


Broken Together

by glittergrenade



Category: New Warriors, Scarlet Spider (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Suicide, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, but anyways bromance yo, can be taken as slash if you want, hope i didn't make kainey too soft, ok that song was going thru my head when i was tryna come up with a title ok yeah, say yeahhh lets be alone togetherrrrr we can stay young foreverrrrr, they love each other anyhow, whatever kind of love that extends to is up to interperetation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 13:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5249156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittergrenade/pseuds/glittergrenade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaine can't keep this up anymore… and it turns out he's not the only one broken inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Together

**Author's Note:**

> They're probably two of my fav New Warriors, if not my top two (like geez, I love them all)… so yeah what happens when different personalities (and similar angst overload) collide… sorta… thanks for clicking on this fic, hope you enjoy :)

" _Go._ " Kaine made his voice as steely as possible. Dripping with ice. Cold. Harsh. Venomous. Evil. Whatever the fuck would scare a blissfully optimistic boy with bouncing powers.

It didn't work.

"What? Why?" Robbie looked blissfully unfazed, leaning casually against the alley wall. "We won! Sure, you hurt a few guys a bit more badly than the hero gold standard… but hey, they were evil, and Justice wasn't here, so we're good." He paused, as if studying Kaine's face. Kaine tried to make his evil glare even eviler. "And sure, maybe my mildly attention-drawing technicolor superpowers weren't gold standard for a stealth mission, but it all worked out! We won! Speedball and his trusty sidekick Scarlet Spider. I prefer team jobs, but now all will see Vance made a wise decision when he chose the two of us for that stealth mission."

 _Wow_ , thought Kaine. Robbie was just unbelievable, honestly. Rambling on and on. But now he stopped, staring.

"What!" Kaine snarled.

"Aren't you gonna make a gibe about 'trusty sidekick'?"

"I'm not your fucking sidekick." Kaine didn't have to pretend, he really wasn't in the mood for this. "Speedball, I'm telling you to _go_. Bounce back to Mount Wundagore. Tell the Warriors whatever you want, but you're doing it on your own."

"Hey Mr. Glass Half-Empty, but what is it that you're too chicken to tell them yourself?" asked Robbie. Pause. "You _are_ coming back later, right? You'll be right behind me? You just gotta settle something first, from your dark mysterious past?" Ugh, Kaine thought bitterly, did this kid understand anything? Why did Robbie have to make this so difficult for him?

"No!" Kaine shouted, as he unsheathed his wrist spikes without a thought. He dug them into the wall on either side of Robbie. "I'm never going back."

Robbie didn't look at Kaine's hands, but stared into his eyes so deeply it made him wish he had left his mask on. "You can't just quit," Robbie said presently. "You're New Warrior. You're one of us. You're a part of this team, Kaine, you're… family."

Was he seriously saying that? Family? How cliché is that? "I'm your family? I _hate_ you guys!" He drew his face closer to Robbie's, intimidating. Kaine was good at that. Especially when he was this angry. Why couldn't Robbie let him leave in peace? Why did he try to give Kaine an even guiltier conscience than he already had?

"Hating each other is what family do!" Robbie protested — annoyingly on fleek for Kaine's circumstance. "Besides, Aracely loves the team, she's stuck to us like glue; but nobody is closer to that girl than you are. That makes you glued to us, too."

"Aracely is better off with you heroes than with me," Kaine glowered. "She should never see me again. Though I'm not sure I can bless your marriage to her early. I just can't approve."

"…Did you just make a joke? That _was_ an embarrassingly lame joke, right?" Well, _now_ Robbie wasn't so smooth. He was blushing like a raspberry. "Either way, Kaine, I know you don't really hate me. You've got me pinned to a wall and I can feel your breath on my face. If that's not love, I don't know what is. You do have good breath." He breathed in deeply, tilting his neck back for effect.

What. Okay. Well. Kaine didn't have time for this right now, and he definitely didn't have the mental energy. Robbie's face seemed to become two in his vision. Kaine let out a wordless shout and stepped back, drawing his wrist spikes out from the wall. He stared at Robbie, but all he could feel was rage. And sure, Robbie was annoying, but wasn't really directed at Robbie… after all, that's all he was: annoying. Kaine had bigger problems. And he was just… an angry person.

So much anger.

He yelled again, driving his closed fist into the wall. It broke apart, rubble flying. He picked some up and hurled it at more wall, causing more damage.

"Kaine!" Robbie started, peering into the building, but he stopped when he evidently saw it looked abandoned — a fact Kaine hadn't been aware of when he'd started tearing it apart, a fact for which he didn't really care. Fury coursed through him, as he punched through brick, wall after wall. Why did he have to have been born flawed? Why did he even have to be born a clone? Fuck, why did he ever have to have been born at all? Why did he exist except to make life miserable for Peter Parker? Why? Why? Was there even a reason for any of it? Did he have a reason? A purpose? The anger surged through him so badly that it made his head throb.

 _I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this._ "I don't want to deal with this!" he found himself shouting at the top of his lungs. "I can't deal with this. I can't face my fucking life anymore. I can't do it!" Fortunately however, he didn't have to; there was another, an _Other_ , who was more than willing to take on the weight for him. "I don't want to live anymore… take it away!" Kaine shouted, pleaded, begged. He could feel the Other already, he let himself slip into its control…

"Kaine!" he was physically knocked back into reality by Speedball, who landed on his back and hit him flat to the ground. Kaine pushed his face up with his elbows, colorful bubbles blurring in his vision. Speedball was still sitting on his back. "Kaine," Robbie repeated, starting to massage his shoulders. Dimly Kaine thought the hands felt small. "I didn't know you could do that," Robbie commented.

Kaine blinked and looked at what he could see of himself. There were tears in his suit. His skin felt tough, and arachnid hairs stuck out from the holes. He could feel the fangs against his lip, and could almost see them, too. His eyesight was a little strange right now, as his eyes were partway transformed into 180° spider eyes. "There's a lot you don't know about me," he whispered.

"Relax," Robbie said softly. "Just try to relax for a minute, okay? I can't stop you from leaving if you want to; that's up to you. But you are family whether you like it or not, and I'm not going to abandon you. Your life is worth living, Kaine… it gave you an awful share, I get it, but please, give it another chance. Just a little longer. Please. For me."

Kaine didn't know what to say to that, but Robbie sounded… different, a little. It might've just been his imagination. Either way, the beginning of Robbie's words sounded good. He tried to relax. It was easier now. He'd got some of that energy out. He took a deep breath and felt his body shift back into human form, the Other slinking back into dormancy while it was still only barely awakened.

"That's good, you did good," Robbie said, still massaging, and still sitting on Kaine's back. Kaine shoved himself up and Speedball tumbled off with a squeal.

Kaine sat on his knees, glaring at the ground. That had been fucked up. But Robbie got up and sat next to him. They sat there together, still for a moment. Presently Robbie started tracing the ground with his fingers. Kaine watched, trying to figure out if that had any significance, but it was a minute before he realized he was forming numbers. What, like Jesus? Kaine had never read the Bible, but he knew that story from somewhere. Was that 612 sins? Kaine knew he had more than that.

Presently Robbie spoke, rubbing the dust harshly astray. "You're _not_ the only New Warrior with a bloody past, Kaine. I've learned it doesn't have to define you."

"I know." Kaine scowled. "Vance told me." Not that any of these goody-two-shoes kids had possibly done anything like he had, but he guessed it was a bit encouraging. Well, it had been at the time. Sort of.

"What did he tell you?" Robbie instantly queried, his eyes flickering for a split moment in what might've been concern.

"That he's a killer like me, that's all," Kaine muttered.

"Oh. Well for one thing his abuser deserved it, but I wasn't talking about him. I was talking about me." It might seem like he was brushing that by, but Robbie's tone didn't come off that way. He was simply going ahead in the conversation; and he sounded incredibly serious for freakin' Speedball. "Just out of curiosity, I know you're younger than you look, but do you know about Stamford?"

Kaine squinted, wondering why he brought that up. "I was in Europe. But yeah. I think. Some kids in spandex got that town blown up, right? Started a superhero civil war? I didn't really care about those things back then. Wasn't in much condition to care."

"That's about right." Robbie paused, staring at the remnants of the numbers in the dust. "That was me. I killed 612 people."

Oh. "Huh," Kaine tried to sound disinterested. But had Robbie actually _killed_ those people, or had it been a careless mistake? Probably he'd been bounced against some bomb and blamed himself for their demise; Kaine found it hard to believe this spaz could intentionally kill anything. Either way, he was still nothing like him. Kaine had done horrible things to more people for more amounts of time — with bitterness and intent and pure evil in his heart and mind. He'd wanted to make people suffer, even just because they were more fortunate than he was. It wasn't fair.

"I just…" Robbie trailed off and paused. "This might sound dumb, but I know what it's like to… I, I used to…" Distanced pause, blinking a few times. "I don't know your origin story, it's true, but I definitely know what it's like to, maybe, feel guilty about something you've done? I just think… I might know how you feel."

"Well, think again, fucker." Kaine was really irritated at that, though he tried not to show how much it affected him. This bouncing idiot had no idea what he was feeling right now. No idea what it was like to be a clone, a fuckup from birth, a man (if he could even be called that) who had been created for misery and had only created misery himself. Robbie had no fucking clue how he felt.

"Okay," Robbie admitted immediately, biting his lip. "I don't. But you haven't had it easy, I can tell. And my past is pretty screwy too; probably a lot worse because _I_ should have known better, while _your_ upbringing-or-lack-thereof didn't give you much choice but to make mistakes. Just wanna let you know that it gets better, no matter how hard it is, and I actually really like you and Aracely likes you even more so please don't do anything that we'll all regret." He paused, and it looked now like he was having trouble between focusing and remaining serene. His brow scrunched slightly in clear distress. "I'm sorry, I just... you're a good person inside, Scarlet. And I really think I know a little bit of how you feel, and I'm living proof that it does get better! Because although obviously I'm happy now, I used to be depressed, Kaine… and I don't like telling people this, but... I used to… you need to... I can't let you... you can't… I used to hurt myself, Kaine, like a lot, okay?"

Silence. Oh, had the idiot finished his rant? Kaine raised an eyebrow. What the fuck was Robbie talking about, and why the fuck was he telling him when he claimed he didn't like to? "Physically or emotionally?"

Robbie looked away again, and there was another pause. "Both?" he admitted presently, though he was looking now like he regretted his words, fluffing his golden locks a little as if to hide his face from judgement. "Like I went pretty hard on the physical, but it was the emotional that drove it. I'm just saying though, when I say a lot, I mean a lot, okay? And I deserved it, too. I did a horrible thing, Kaine."

Kaine looked at him in a new light, but Robbie was wearing his costume, so he couldn't exactly see scars or anything. Not that Kaine hadn't noticed some before. Huh. Robbie looked back at Kaine, and their eyes met. "I'm sorry, that sucks?" It was a question. Kaine wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel sorry for a guy who'd caused harm to _himself_. What sane being would even do that?

"No, no!" Robbie shook his head vigorously. "Don't be sorry for me. That's not why I'm telling you this. I'm happy now, really happy, happy as it gets, I swear. I just… I'm trying to give you hope." His eyes seemed moist, though he didn't cry. "And it's all in the past for me so please don't talk to me about it again because I don't like talking about it. You gotta swear to tell nobody and don't encourage Aracely or I'll literally murder your ass. But… there just needs to be an 'again' to have an opportunity, Kaine. Please come back with me."

Kaine looked Robbie up and down. Robbie was shaking a little now, and seemed like a disgustingly emotional person trying very hard not to show how emotional he was right now. "Why do you care so much?"

"You're important to me!" Robbie practically cried. "You may not be important to yourself, but… a lot of people care about you. Think of Aracely, and don't you dare say she's better off without you because she doesn't think so and she knows every damn thought that passes through your head. And if you, like, wanna make up for killing whoever you killed… there's no better place to do penance it than the New Warriors, I can guarantee that." He blinked, his eyes watery. "Please, please come back with me, Kaine. Just today. One more effort. You deserve happiness, and this is the closest way you can get it. You deserve a life."

Kaine stared at him, unwanted emotions bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Robbie really did care. And it wasn't like Wally and Donald caring (no shade to them)… he just meant it, no matter what Kaine had done. Kaine had the feeling that meant literally _whatever_ Kaine had done. Sure his truth was worse than Robbie's, but Kaine couldn't help but feel moved from all the passion thrown in his face. "Okay, okay, you stubborn motherfucker! I won't leave your ass. If you're gonna be all like _that_ about it. Shit." Still, everyone Kaine stayed around too long ended up getting hurt, and he wasn't about to forget that… But he couldn't leave this kid right now, not like this. Annoying Speedball. "By the way, Robbie, I'm not fucking suicidal or whatever. I don't know what gave you that idea but you seem to have it."

"Oh… oh?" Robbie coughed, his shining eyes staring into Kaine's face. "You're coming back with me to Wundagore?"

Kaine shrugged, annoyance tickling him again as he struggled to not seem invested. "Long as you hurry on, bouncy pants. Don't want Vance to pussy out and send backup. That would be embarrassing for the supposedly dynamic duo." Shit, he sounded stupid when he said things like _dynamic duo_. Ugh. Last time he'd be using _that_ phrase.

"You'll be okay," Robbie whispered, in a strange mix of relief and despair; and he literally slumped forwards on his face.

Kaine stared at him for a moment, before pulling him up by the hair. Robbie's eyes were still open, but he didn't even wince. It was like he couldn't feel the pain. "Speedball?" he said into his face. Robbie didn't even blink. What was this, a stroke? Still holding him by the hair, Kaine felt Robbie's chest. His heart seemed to be pounding very fast. Apparently he had just zonked out. It was as if, now that he had completed his objective, all this feelsy talk of the past had pulled everything he was out of him in the present.

Suddenly Robbie sniffled. "I killed them." It was a whisper, barely audible, but Kaine caught it.

"I killed them too," he tried that empathy thing. He wasn't used to it.

"You're okay?" Robbie squinted at Kaine, who slowly let go of his hair.

"I'm always okay," Kaine shrugged — not true by a long stretch but Robbie _had_ helped him feel closer to the word's meaning. "Uh, didn't you want to go back to Wundagore?"

"Oh." Robbie shuddered violently. "Oh. Six-hundred-and-twelve." He stared into space again, shivering and biting his lip, digging his fingernails noticeably into his arms. Okay... this was weird. This kid was Robbie fuckin' Baldwin, all like this, and it was just weird. Still, whether from friendship or pity or empathy or even from his still-newfound hero complex, Kaine didn't know — what he did know was that he had to help him, and he felt convinced he wanted to try.

"Okay…" Patience. Patience was key. Kaine tried to figure out how to do this. "Robbie, I know how it feels, remember? But you're making up for it. You saved the goddamn world the other day, s'long as you look at it from the right fucking angle; and that pretty much outweighs killing off one little town. I'm not saying it wasn't bad what you did in Stamford, I'm not saying it wasn't fucking evil villainy, I'm just saying… one bad decision doesn't have to define you." He remembered what Robbie had told him only minutes ago.

"Uh-huh." Robbie stared at the ground, still scratching at his arms. Kaine didn't try to stop him. He needed to let it out. This was kind of Kaine's fault, honestly. Robbie would never have had a mental collapse like this if he hadn't been trying to help Kaine with graphic _empathy_.

Kaine had no doubt that Robbie still did think about Stamford all the time; but being so personal and deep about it like Robbie'd been was more than enough to make a person lose himself. Kaine would know. He sensed Robbie had been put through a lot in the aftermath of Stamford, too. More than enough to simply traumatize him for life, but to break him into a million little prices. It had been on the news. He'd had no friends by his side then, only haters and judging Initiative leaders.

Well, luckily that wasn't the case anymore.

"Fuck them," Kaine muttered. "Look Robbie, tons of supervillains become superheroes and put their dirty pasts aside. I know you were never a supervillain, but you think maybe we can try that gig together?"

"Uh-huh," Robbie repeated softly, and it wasn't clear whether he'd registered it at all.

"Toothpick?" Kaine said sharply.

Robbie jerked his head up. "Where'd you—?"

"Vance. He likes to reminisce." Kaine shrugged, inwardly relieved that this had jerked Robbie's brain out of the mud.

"Well, call him Supertights," Robbie mumbled, rubbing his face and shutting his eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I want to murder him," Kaine nodded. He sighed. "Fuck it, man. This the only time I'll say this, and I guarantee you'll die painfully if you tell a soul that I said it to you, but… thanks for being there for me. I just wanna do the same for you." He wrapped an arm around Robbie's waist, and slung him over one shoulder. Robbie inhaled sharply, but didn't make a real move. "Mount Wundagore," Kaine growled softly. "We're on our way. We'll both be okay, Robbie. Together we'll make it through this."

"We… we will," Robbie coughed affirmingly, and to Kaine's surprise (which he demonstrated instantly in a stream of obscenities), he kicked hard with one foot against the wall, sending them both flying in a wreath of bubbles and kinetic energy. Kaine's breath caught on the first gentle bounce, and then he almost smiled. Scarlet Spider and Speedball, bouncing along through the countryside in an ocean of kinetic colors. Heh. Maybe they really would be okay... both of them.


End file.
